WWE Evolve: Succession. 10/15/25

We began with a hype video about Evolve. Then we got a hype video about Jackson Drake and the Vanity Project, accompanied by execrable 90’s style rock. Last week when Drake suggested that Suceession should be a celebration of The Vanity Project, Bryce Donovan put him through a table. Would that someone would have done the same with this promo!

Donovan waited in the ring, and Jackson Drake emerged with the words “Doctor Thirst” emblazoned on his butt (alias, or new energy drink?), accompanied by Swipe Right and Zayda Steel, and the Men’s Championshp was underway! Donovan dominated early but was successfully distracted by the attempted interference of Brad Baylor and Ricky Smokes. (Absolutely shocking—shocking, we say!—to see wrestlers not officially in the match interfere with the proceedings. We demand an investigation!)

With Donovan attempting to recover after being flattened by a flying Jackson Drake, Keanu Carver attempted to rush the ring, held back by Evolve Security. Cut to commercial!

Apparently security successfully prevented Carver from running in because he was gone after the commercial break. There were several momentum shifts, but Drake managed to prevail and retain the championship!

Cut to Stevie Turner backstage on the phone saying she was excited to have someone from AAA on Evolve. Intriguing! And then Bigg Jah entered. Bigg Jah, a quick internet search reveals, is a comedian and influencer who created a YouTube soap opera called The Lesbian Homie! We are not making this up! He and Stevie then left backstage to go watch the rest of the show.

We love a celebrity special guest! Maybe Evolve will get one someday!

Adrenaline Drip did a promo for their upcoming match against Jax Presley and Harley Riggins. They celebrated their recent victory over Presley and Riggins, and Jones denied Cartwheel a sip of his coffee. Perhaps he was saving all the caffeine for the Evolve fans, who, despite having their numbers tripled for Succession, still seemed content to watch all the action silently from their seats. and we went backstage, to find Chuey Martinez standing between Layla Diggs and Masyn Holiday, while Wendy Choo, attired in what appeared to be glow-in-the-dark UFO pajamas, stood in the foreground. Diggs, Martinez, and Holiday gave their prediction for the Women’s Championship match. When they asked Choo to weigh in, she seemed at a loss for words, and Chantel Monroe emerged to mock Choo’s apparent speech disorder. Classy!

Time for the bull rope match, and Tate Wilder came out to some godawful country rock with a fancy new logo painted on his inexplicably weighted vest, high fiving fans and broadcasters alike. Brooks Jensen then came out to some godawful blues rock, holding the rope and cowbell that would be legal weapons for this match. The participants were tied together at the wrist and the match was underway!

The match featured some relatively brutal use of the rope as both competitors got to whip each other with it, and Jensen actually put the rope in Wilder’s mouth in quite kinky fashion! Fortunately for all concerned, this is family entertainment, and the regular violence quickly resumed. Call us Christopher Walken, as we were yelling More Cowbell at our screen, but sadly neither competitor got hit with it. Still, Wilder wound up taking the victory in a very entertaining match.

Then we got a promo for the Women’s Championship match that was a re-cut version of last week’s face-to-neck in the ring. And then a promo of Aaron Rourke putting his makeup on and asking if we wanted to hear a story. We very much did want to hear a story, but we didn’t get one, as we went back to Stevie backstage with Sean Legacy, who proclaimed his desire to punch Edris in the face. Bigg Jah Emerged to suggest they simply have a match last week, and Stevie offered to make Bigg Jah the GM of Evolve next week. With YouTubers serving as guest GMs, dare we hope the brilliant minds behind the hypnotically bizarre 5 Minute Crafts channel will get a shot?

Masun Holiday and Layla Diggs came out to pitch themselves to Bigg Jah for one of his films. They proclaimed themselves to be Beyonce’s children, which seems improbable not only because neither of them are named Blue Ivy, Rumi, or Sir, but also because Beyonce’s oldest child is but 14 years old. Bigg Jah asked if Holiday and Diggs would beat him up if they said no to their pitch. They were noncommittal, and, ultimately, so was he. We hope Holiday and Diggs will remember the immortal words of Richard Marx: “It don’t mean nothin till you sign it on the dotted line.”

We were left in suspense as to whether Holiday and Diggs would secure the bag, but the suspense as to who would win the Women’s Championship was about to end.

Kendal Grey emerged to the strains of what appeared to be the Temu version of Wig Wam’s  “Do You Wanna Taste It,” Kali Armstrong emerged to a Temu version of Megan Thee Stallion, thus ensuring that fans could not overlook the uncomfortable racial dynamics of the match!

The match unfolded with fast and brutal action. Kicks to the ribs! Kicks to the head! Punches to the head! Slaps to the chest! Grey hitting the frog splash on Armstrong from the top rope to the floor! Momentum shifted back and forth rapidly as the competitors exchanged 2-count pins and, in the end, Grey took the championship by foiling an attempted body slam and rolling Armstrong up!

While we would have very much enjoyed seeing Jackson Drake get the cocky sneer wiped off his face, we proclaim Succession a success! And with Evolve apparently naming their specials after prestige TV series, we look forward to WWE Evolve: Chernobyl!